At the start of 2017 I committed to blogging consistently over the year and since making that commitment, I was consistently uploading until the end of February. Wow, writing that makes it seem so ridiculous that I only consistently blogged for one month. I did not realise that until I wrote it.
At the end of February, I had a car accident and along with that came a mountain of anxiety and it has never been as bad as it was post-accident. I couldn’t sleep and when I did manage to drift off to sleep after hours of anxiety, I would have horrible dreams that would wake me up and we would start the process again. I had no feeling of hunger and at the end of the day I would start to get dizzy and feel light headed which was the only indication my body gave me that I needed to eat. At this point, I still had no sensation of hunger and was force feeding myself so I wouldn’t pass out.
Three weeks on, I am so much better. My anxiety is gone, hunger is back and life is normal again which also means I am back to consistently blogging again and this time, hopefully for more than one month!
Sometimes life throws you’re a curveball and you have to deal with it. If dealing with it means taking some time off and resting, then so be it. My advice is listen to your body, mine needed rest and that is what I gave it.
There is a difference between listening to your body and giving it what it needs and using whatever your curveball is as an excuse for not picking your shit up and getting on with life. I used my anxiety as an excuse to not pick the ball up and keep running. By the way, I don’t believe I was running with life, I was dawdling. It wasn’t until I was skipping yet another breakfast that William pointed out that I am using my anxiety as an excuse for not getting my shit together. Sometimes all it takes is a comment from someone close to you for you to become aware of your excuses and then you have a choice. Keep using your excuse or drop it right there and then.
I dropped my excuse and picked up the ball however it took me another week to have a look at my blog. I actually thought about throwing in the towel and closing the blog down. I cannot believe how ridiculous I sound, after one month of blogging and a little hiccup in my life, I wanted to give up what I have wanted to do for 3 years. With anything in life that you want, patience is key and I am not the most patient person in the world so this is a muscle that I am building.
From here, I am making a new commitment. I will be applying patience, consistency and hard work to this blog along with throwing out the bullshit excuses and publishing three posts per week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm.
Sometimes it is ‘easier’ to live in my excuses or my story as to why I can’t do whatever it is that I want to do, because making excuses is sometimes easier than making shit happen. Making shit happen is scary. You’re vulnerable, you have to take a chance or gamble on yourself and there is always the chance that you may fail. I have to believe in myself as well which is scary as fuck and not only do I need to believe in myself, I need to have unwavering faith that I can do what I want to and achieve all I set out to. That’s pretty fucking hard in itself however, like patience, believing in myself it is a muscle that needs building.
Not giving two cents about what anyone else thinks and knowing why I am doing whatever it is that I want to do, will aid in building that muscle and long-term, will build a thick skin where others comments will wash off like water on a rock.
Also, others opinions or comments about my life shouldn’t dictate what I do and don’t do. If they don’t like something, that has nothing to do with me and is completely irrelevant.
I will leave you with my favourite quote of all time by Jordan Belfort, Aka, The Wolf of Wall Street “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t”