Being vulnerably is scary as fuck and it is also something that I have learnt to live with. If I want to live an extraordinary life, vulnerability is part of the package and there is not much I can do about it. For three years, I used vulnerability as an excuse for not starting this blog and I can’t believe that I didn’t get over the vulnerability sooner and do what I wanted to do.
I didn’t want to be vulnerable because I was scared of others being judgmental and I let that fear control my decisions and dictate my life. People are going to be judgmental and give unsolicited opinions whether I ask for them or not, so I thought why not just get on with it and do what I want to do? The best way I have found to live with my vulnerability is to just ride the wave. Once those few minutes of vulnerability are over and I stop feeling like I am going to vomit, I am OK.
The question that comes to mind is who am I living life for? It is my life after all. I am the only one that can chase my dreams with the intent of achieving them and if I let vulnerability stop me from chasing them, what kind of life am I living?
Life happens outside of our comfort zone. Being self-assured and having self-confidence whilst living outside your comfort zone or with vulnerability, brings empowerment and removes the need for external validation and acceptance. Knowing that I don’t need others to like what I have to say gives me the power to write and post whatever I feel like without the self-doubt and insecurities attached. You never know what could happen if you take a step outside your comfort zone, however what I do know is that every time I have stepped outside of mine, I have learnt valuable lessons, grown as a person and amazing things have happened. I encourage you to try it.
I don’t necessarily have any big dreams in life and I never have. I remember in school when the teachers asked us to write down our dreams, I never had any to write. I always thought my lack of dreams was strange because in school you are taught that it is normal to have dreams, therefore making me think I wasn’t normal. I now believe that my lack of huge dreams and aspirations is due to my desire for a simpler life.
I feel like chasing your dreams no matter how big or small, vulnerability comes into it. I know when I was working in a corporate role, having a big successful career was the only thing that mattered to the people around me. I struggled with the fact that I wanted a simpler life that didn’t involve working myself or my relationship into the ground. I have never been overly career driven however I felt that I should have a career because that seemed to be the thing to do. I felt vulnerable because I thought that others would judge me because of my desire for a simpler life and not understand it. I have come to realise that in my life, it is not my responsibility to make or help others understand my decisions nor should I have to justify them to others.
Another thing that has helped me be OK with my desire for a simpler life is reading blogs and articles about minimalism. If you’re struggling in a similar way to what I was, maybe try and find someone online that has something similar to what you want and start consuming the content that they create. Or even better, start surrounding yourself with those who are aligned with what you want have have similar goals and aspirations for their life.
It all boils down to accepting who you are and knowing that you are enough. If you are happy and OK with who you are as a person and the choices you make, then the confidence and empowerment that that knowledge gives you will help you in overcoming vulnerability.
Vulnerability comes in all shapes and sizes and when we lean into it, it can be empowering. Brene Brown is an amazing researcher and storyteller on the topic of vulnerability if you want to learn more about the topic.
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami
Let me know in the comments below about your experience with vulnerability or if this post has helped you.
Images taken at Broadbeach, QLD