Passion is a funny thing. I feel like passion and purpose go hand in hand and I don’t believe you can have one without the other. I currently am not passionate about much in my life so I thought I would talk about it and share my thoughts with you.
Lately I have a lack of passion for this blog which has me feeling deflated and inadequate. I feel that I should be passionate about it however, when I wake up in the morning I have anxiety because I know I need to write however I don’t know what to write about. I have wanted to blog about my life for so many years, I procrastinated for such a long time and now that I have finally taken the plunge, I have found that I am not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. It should not be this way however it’s not the actual blogging or writing that is stressing me out, it is my lack of passion and lack of doing activities I am passionate about.
I also feel extremely guilty that I haven’t been enjoying writing lately because it feels like the lack of enjoyment equals lack of gratitude or vise versa. Admittedly, I could absolutely be more grateful for the blog because I feel that we could all be more grateful for what we have.
Since my life update post and committing to publishing three times per week, I have kept to my commitment up until mid-April. I have been racking my brains trying to come up with different ideas or topics to talk about and when I go to write about them, it feels forced and unauthentic so they never make it off the cutting room floor. After a few different conversations with William about my blog and lack of things to talk about, I have found that I am trying to create content vs. document my life. I started this blog so I could share some of the things I am passionate about and as a way to document my life which has gone out the window since reverting back to trying to ‘create content.’
Documenting life is one aspect that I am passionate about. I love to take photos of those close to me when they are not looking because when people are in a natural environment, they are beautiful and you capture the moment as it is versus how they want it to be perceived. Or taking photos of the little things like the garnish on a pasta dish, fingers clutching a coffee mug or someone mid-laugh. Another thing I am passionate about is going on little adventures with my camera and exploring new places.
Cooking and creating in the kitchen is something that I am passionate about and have not been doing lately. It’s funny, the more I write this, the more I realise I haven’t been doing anything at all that I am passionate about. The other day, I got off the train and had my camera in my bag as I usually do. I went to get onto another train and as I was about to get on, I turned around and saw the most gorgeous sunset however I got on my train and it left the station. I have no idea why I didn’t run to the end of the platform and capture it. I just got on the train as though it was nothing and carried on with my day. It’s moments like those that make life incredible and if I captured that sunset, it would have given me loads of imagery to share on here.
I read an article on tiny buddha about how we have to remember our passions which are usually derived from our childhood. If I think back to my childhood, I loved to paint pictures, cook, play in the garden and be outdoors. If I think about what I love now, it is being outdoors exploring new places, taking photos, creating in the kitchen and I dream of having a huge garden of my own one day filled with vegetables and beautiful flowers. Pretty simple and very much aligned with what I enjoyed as a child.
Finding what I am passionate about is something I have struggled with on and off for some time however, I always thought that perhaps I needed to do more so I could find what I liked. I never thought about going back to my childhood and thinking about what I enjoyed to see if I could relate it at all to my life now.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders after expressing my thoughts on passion and how I have been feeling about it. After getting everything out in the open, I feel inspired to make time each week to go on a little adventure with my camera or set aside a few hours to create and photograph in the kitchen.
Life can get so busy that we forget to set aside time each week for the things that nourish our soul.
“When you recover, or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life” – Jean Shinoda Bolen